Samantha's Year In Lockdown


Photo By: Yasmina H/Unsplash

This time last year I was sitting in my one-bedroom flat, that my family reminded me I was very lucky to have. Never mind the fact that I lost everything to get there.

During the first lockdown, I had a massive CPTSD breakdown resulting in me thinking I was a lesbian. Now, I guess bisexual. But, back to what happened. I was off work for over a month due to the pandemic. I went on Facebook and a young girl befriended me. She told me that her ex was abusive towards her and said she felt suicidal and me being concerned and with covid ongoing, I collected her and her child. Well, what a mistake that ended up being.


She then moved her dog in, much to my poor cat's dismay. We were all in my tiny flat. Each day was a new drama with her and I became mentally exhausted from it all. She wanted to move closer to her family, I was happy where I was. She took money off my mum for a deposit and we moved.


This was where I made a big mistake, technically I didn’t really like her. I was useful to her in terms of driving and childcare. Once we moved she told lies to her family about me. I felt isolated and trapped. I just didn’t know what to do? I felt alone, then she cheated and lied to me in October and I left. My poor cats had to go into foster care, then I stupidly went back. Things got worse, she cheated and lied again and didn’t get that it triggered my CPTSD and dysthymia.


She then dumped me when I had a cyst removal and didn’t care. Even though we went into the third lockdown she still went to her ex's party and left me after a general anaesthetic. As things got worse and my mental health deteriorated I stopped eating and I couldn’t sleep. I then Just one day decided to leave. I took my cats and went to my mums. Lucky I am safe now and I am back doing pageants, poetry and my masters in creative writing.


I have also met someone who treats me the way that I should be treated. I have started doing Avon as well and I am closer to my family and friends. This year has taught me to take care of your mental health first and that people should respect your boundaries and keep strong with any kind of bully.

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