Vacantly gazing out of the window.
Nothing inside that hollow brain but a mixture of complete desperation and acceptance that life will always be like this.
Even when the day comes where everything seems a little brighter, it may last an hour or if you’re lucky, a happy month, but you know it’ll always come back. It'll get you in the end.
You don’t want to die, you try and find any other solution but what people don’t understand is, you would do anything to never have to feel like this again.
You know you will though. You can never outrun it. You long to just feel nothing at all, that’s the only thing to look forward to.
‘Don’t talk like that they say. ‘Don’t put the people you love through that.’ But they’re the ones making you stay here in this pain.
They'd put their beloved pet down if they were in this pain, wouldn’t they? But they don’t grant you the same kindness.
So you just continue to live in the darkness, not to hurt other’s feelings.